


Three First Kisses

by Rainsong



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, MtF Mahariel, MtF Warden, Multi, POV Third Person Limited, POV Warden (Dragon Age), Past Relationship(s), Past Tense, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Mahariel, Trans Warden, Trans character by trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22270759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainsong/pseuds/Rainsong
Summary: Alistair was Dael Mahariel's last first kiss.Three vignettes of my Dalish mage warden's first kisses with Tamlen, Merrill, and Alistair (her endgame romance), and an epilogue of Merrill remembering their relationship with her new girlfriends Hawke and Isabela.
Relationships: Alistair/Female Mahariel (Dragon Age), Female Hawke/Isabela/Merrill, Female Mahariel/Merrill (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 3





	1. 9:20 Dragon, Dalish camp in the Northwest Hinterlands

**Author's Note:**

> Some of Alistair's dialogue is taken verbatim from the game dialogue because why change it?

“Your mum is looking for you,” said Dael. Tamlen didn’t look up from the pond.

“I’ll go when I’m ready.”

“But it’s almost supper time.”

“Go on without me, I’ll catch up.”

Dael crossed her arms and huffed for a moment, then decided to sit with him. She sat cross-legged on the rock, not wanting to get her feet wet.

“What are you even doing?”

“Looking for tadpoles.”

Dael stared into the murky water. She didn’t see anything moving, but clearly Tamlen hadn’t been discouraged.

“What will you do with them if you find any?”

“Not sure yet. Hey—I think I saw one!” exclaimed Tamlen, pointing. Dael laid on her stomach, reaching out a hand toward the water. She didn’t see anything…

Suddenly, a spray of water hit her face, and she heard Tamlen giggle.

“I’ll get you for that!” she yelped, scooping water with her hand to splash him back. Tamlen stood up, shoeless, and started running to the other side of the pond. Dael chased him through the reeds. Tamlen looked behind him to see how close she was, and suddenly went sprawling in the mud. Dael laughed as she caught up and collapsed in the dry grass next to him.

“That’s what you get!”

Tamlen scrunched his nose, but was clearly amused as well. Dael offered him a hand out of the puddle.

“You’ve got hair in your face,” said Tamlen after catching his breath. Indeed, Dael’s dampened hair was sticking to her cheeks and forehead in odd ways. Dael felt herself blushing, and tried to brush it away. “It’s cute.”

“You think I’m cute?” said Dael, surprised. Tamlen turned red in turn, avoiding her gaze. They sat in silence for a moment, neither wanting to look at the other.

“Can I kiss you?” said Tamlen.

Dael wasn’t sure how to respond. She had never thought about kissing Tamlen, or anyone, really.

“I guess,” she said, figuring now was as good a time as any to see if she liked it. Tamlen took her hand, and moved towards her in an excruciatingly slow manner. Dael didn’t move. Eventually, his lips came to rest on hers, and they just stayed there for several seconds, until Dael pulled back.

“Was that okay?” asked Tamlen, sounding worried.

“Yeah,” lied Dael, confused. Was that all it was? It didn’t feel like much of anything. She let go of his hand and started to stand up.

“Come on. Now we need to wash up before supper. Ashalle will be angry.”

“Okay,” shrugged Tamlen, following her.


	2. 9:26 Dragon, Dalish camp along the River Dane

When Merrill came to the Sabrae clan, Dael had expected to be jealous of her. An older mage, sent to train as Marethari’s First. Clan Sabrae had a dismally small number of mages, and Marethari had been concerned about Dael’s disposition—she had little attention for lessons and preferred to spend her time with the hunters, using her magic for fun, rather than learning the practical magics of a Keeper. Merrill was far more disciplined, and most of the elves agreed that she would be a better First than Dael. It came as a surprise, then, when Dael found herself becoming friends with Merrill.

Though Dael had been demoted to Second, Marethari still hoped to train both young mages. And so, it was after a long morning of lessons inside the Keeper’s aravel, in the sweltering heat of midsummer, that Dael suggested a swim in the river. She was restless after being indoors for so long—and hoped to spend some time alone with Merrill. They walked in comfortable silence for several minutes before reaching a secluded part of the riverbank. Here, the river flowed slowly and lazily over stones. Merrill sat on a dry rock and removed her shoes, rolling up her pants. Dael, without hesitation, stripped out of most of her clothing and waded in.

“Come on, Merrill! The water’s lovely!”

Merrill swayed, kicking her feet.

“I don’t know how to swim.”

“It’s not deep. I’ll protect you,” said Dael, grinning. Merrill thought about it for a few moments, then tugged off her tunic.

“Alright, but no funny business!”

Dael tried not to watch as Merrill removed her pants, stepping into the water in just her underclothes. She tried, as Merrill waded in up to her hips, shivering at the temperature difference, the water splashing her stomach and dampening her shirt…

“Come on!” said Dael suddenly, reaching out her arms. “Let’s go deeper. You’ll be safe.”

Merrill hesitated, but took her hands, following Dael. They stumbled in until Dael was up to her chest. Merrill didn’t let go of her hands, looking increasingly nervous.

“Hey, I’ve got you,” said Dael, pulling her closer.

“This is nice,” said Merrill, seeming more relaxed.

“Do you want to try and swim?” asked Dael.

“You’ll have to show me how.”

“Alright. Don’t let go. Just, you know, lift your feet from the bottom and start kicking out behind you.”

Merrill, her eyes wide, did as instructed. Dael began paddling backwards, pulling Merrill along.

“I’m swimming!” said Merrill with surprise.

“You’re swimming!” agreed Dael, grinning. They swam with the current for a while, until Dael felt a rock behind her. She tried to stand up against it, but realized they had gone further toward the centre of the river, and could no longer touch the bottom.

“What’s—oh. Oh no,” said Merrill.

“It’s okay,” said Dael, calmly. “Look, we’re closer to the other bank. We can swim across.”

“Don’t let go!” squeaked Merrill, and Dael felt her heart catch in her chest. They continued their course, until they eventually reached a spot where Dael could feel the bottom of the river.

“Hey. You can stand up, now,” she said. In doing so, Merrill pulled Dael even closer to her, holding on for dear life.

“I’ve got you!” laughed Dael.

“I’m cold,” said Merrill. “Can we get out for a while?”

Dael nodded, leading her to the edge of the water. They laid on a sun-dappled rock, the heat now a nice change from the frigid water. Dael noted that Merrill hadn’t let go of her hand.

“That was fun. I’m sorry I panicked,” said Merrill.

“It’s okay. You did great.”

“So did you. You’re a great teacher.”

Dael felt her ears turning pink. She distracted herself by tracing patterns on Merrill’s forearm. Merrill closed her eyes in contentment, and Dael worked her way up to her elbow, then her upper arms where her vallaslin began. Dael hadn’t received hers yet—another reason she should have been jealous of Merrill, but instead she marvelled at the delicate green lines on her friend’s skin. Merrill opened her eyes when Dael’s fingertips reached her face, pausing to brush some of her dark hair out of the way. She smiled, reaching out her own hand to touch Dael’s cheek.

Dael wasn’t sure what overcame her, but she leaned in closer to Merrill, so that their noses were almost touching. Seeing no hesitation on her friend’s face, she kissed her.

The last time Dael had kissed anyone, it had been Tamlen, when they were just children. It hadn’t meant anything. But this… This meant something. Merrill’s lips were soft and warm, and she pushed closer to Dael, threading a hand into her curly hair. Dael wasn’t sure how long they spent there, kissing slowly and gently, but eventually the beating sun became unbearable once more.

“Do you want to go back in the water?” said Dael.

“Sure,” said Merrill, pushing herself up.

This time, Dael didn’t try to stop herself from looking. Merrill’s shirt was practically see-through when it was wet. The notion that she wanted to see what was under it stirred in Dael, and she stumbled, Merrill a few steps ahead.

“Are you alright, Dael?” asked Merrill.

“Yeah. Come on.”

They swam across the river to where they had left their things, Merrill much more confident this time, Dael utterly distracted by new thoughts. Before they reached too shallow a point, Dael pulled Merrill closer to her, supporting them both against the current. She kissed her again, more desperate this time. Merrill hummed and held Dael by the waist.

“I like this,” she said when they paused for a breath.

“Me too,” said Dael, unable to keep from smiling.


	3. 9:30 Dragon, camp near the Brecilian Forest

“Can’t sleep?” asked Alistair, moving aside to let Dael sit on the log with him.

“I keep dreaming about darkspawn.”

“Me too. The curse of the Grey Wardens, I suppose.”

“I’ve been dreaming about them far longer than that. Ever since I first saw them.”

“With your friend Tamlen, right?” asked Alistair. “Before you met Duncan?”

“No. I saw one before that, once. I was with my friend Merrill. We were supposed to be gathering deathroot, but we weren’t really. We heard this noise from across the clearing, and saw this short figure making its way through the grass. Merrill went over to see what it was, and came back running.. We left the deathroot we had picked and ran back to camp. It didn’t chase us. I found out later it was a darkspawn, after some hunters killed it.”

“You and Merrill were close, weren’t you? You’ve mentioned her a lot.”

Dael was glad for the darkness, because she didn’t want Alistair to see her embarrassment.

“We were. We… We were more than friends.”

“Like… Best friends?” teased Alistair.

“She was my first love,” admitted Dael. “She was the Keeper’s First, I was her Second, so we spent a lot of time together. We never really talked about being bonded, but I sort of hoped… We could have children, so there was no reason we couldn’t get married. But we were young and didn’t really care about the future. When Tamlen disappeared and I had to become a Warden, we said goodbye, and she set me free. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.”

“Are you still in love with her?” asked Alistair softly.

“I don’t know. So much has happened… I don’t know if I would even feel the same way, if I saw her again. I’m a different person.”

“Are you?”

Dael stared at the embers of the fire, unsure.

“I thought you said you _hadn’t_ licked a lamppost in winter,” said Alistair after a moment, breaking the silence. Dael shoved him.

“The Dalish don’t have lampposts, idiot. But, ah, no, we never got to that point.”

“I’m sorry for being so… I didn’t realize you preferred women. I shouldn’t have assumed,” said Alistair, after a moment.

“I don’t! I mean, women are great. But I’ve kissed boys, too.”

“Oh,” said Alistair, with surprise. Dael thought she could see the shape of a smile on his face, but it was hard to tell.

“What about you? When was the first time you saw a darkspawn?” asked Dael.

“Just before my Joining, actually. Me and the other recruits went into the Deep Roads to find darkspawn blood. We found a pair of hurlocks tearing apart a nug nest. I was terrified. They have those hollow eyes…”

“I know what you mean.”

“Anyway, we killed them, and a few more, and then we collected their blood and went back to see Duncan. I didn’t really fight any until Ostagar, though.”

“Flemeth really chose the two worst Wardens to save,” said Dael, shaking her head.

“I beg your pardon. I think we’re pretty great,” said Alistair. Dael smiled. They fell silent, Dael staring at the fire once more, a warm feeling in her chest. Alistair finally cleared his throat, and Dael felt him move a little closer to her, so that their shoulders were brushing.

“So all this time we’ve spent together… you know: the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the whole Blight looming over us… will you miss it once it’s over?”

“There will always be more battles to fight somewhere,” said Dael, wondering what other kind of life she possibly have as a Dalish Warden. She couldn’t exactly go back to her clan as soon as the Blight was over.

“But that doesn’t mean we would necessarily be fighting them together. I know it… might sound strange, considering we haven’t known each other for very long, but I’ve come to care for you. A great deal. I think maybe it’s because we’ve gone through so much together. I don’t know. Or maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe I’m fooling myself,” said Alistair. He hesitated. “Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever… feel the same way about me?”

Dael studied Alistair’s face in the firelight, her heart pounding. “I think I already do,” she said. Alistair touched her cheek, and Dael really, really wanted to kiss him. She didn’t have to wait.

Kissing Alistair was different than kissing Merrill. His face was rough and stubbly where Merrill’s had been soft, and he smelled like woodsmoke and soap where Merrill had smelled like elfroot and autumn leaves. It was nice, nonetheless. More than nice. Dael ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him as close as she could. When they pulled apart after a few moments, she leaned her forehead against his, their noses bumping together.

“That… that wasn’t too soon, was it?” said Alistair, softly.

“No, not really. I liked it,” said Dael, unable to stop herself from smiling.

“Good. I’ll take that as a good sign,” said Alistair. He pulled back a little to look at her. Dael wanted to protest and keep kissing, but she reminded herself he probably hadn’t done this before. She needed to give him space. After a moment, he spoke again.

“Maker’s breath, but you’re beautiful. I am a lucky man.”

“Are you?” she teased. “I think I’m the one who’s lucky.”

Alistair shifted so he could kiss her forehead. She leaned against him, more than content with what had just happened. Perhaps it was the firelight, or Alistair’s comforting presence, but she fell asleep quickly after that, still leaning against his shoulder.


	4. 9:41 Dragon, Kirkwall

“Ah ah ah, Kitten. It’s my turn to ask you,” said Isabela. Merrill covered her face with her hands, pre-emptively hiding the blush she knew would come. “Who was your first kiss?”

Merrill did indeed blush, but there was a hint of sadness in her face, as well. She thought about it for a moment before answering.

“Before my clan came to the Free Marches, we were in Ferelden. I had a dear friend there, named Dael. She was the clan’s Second. She was beautiful. So confident and funny, and she was a fantastic mage, even if the Keeper didn’t think so. We went swimming, once, after a lesson. We kissed on the rocks for a long time. I didn’t know she felt the same way about me. I really loved her. But I had to let her go.”

“What happened to her?” asked Hawke, noting the tears coming to Merrill’s eyes.

“She was the one who explored that ruin with Tamlen, and got the taint. She had to become a Grey Warden to survive, so I told her it was okay, that I loved her but she didn’t have to keep loving me, because she couldn’t. I never got to see her again.”

“Merrill, that’s so sad,” said Hawke. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait a second. You’re telling me your first kiss was with Dael Mahariel? The Hero of Ferelden?” said Isabela.

“Yes.”

“And you let her go!”

“It was the right thing to do. She found someone else, now,” said Merrill, frowning a little. “But I have you two!”

“That you do,” agreed Hawke, kissing her cheek.

“Did you bed her?” asked Isabela.

“Isabela!” scolded Hawke.

“Sorry.”

“No, I didn’t,” said Merrill. “I wanted to.”

“You should have. I wish I did.”

“Isabela!” said Hawke again.

“Oh, Hawke. What’s one more? Another little elf for our bed?”

“We would need a bigger bed,” mused Merrill.


End file.
